I See

so i wake up at 4am...to arguing and cramps. PMS is kickin my ass and my parents can't seem to keep their facade of a happy home from falling apart. The nostalgia makes me nauseous. so i put on my ipod and surf the net

i check my myspace. nothing new..but my top 24 is different. some strange white person is #24 that can only mean that someone was deleted or rather they deleted me. i quickly scan and then i see it..the running focal point of 70% of my blog is no longer on my top.I've been deleted.

Looking for an explanation, i turn to blogspot. i see two new posts..so i read
As i read, this thought runs through my mind "huh? what the fuck? surely him not puttin back a damn bottle of juice and me callin him an ignorant nigger didn't warrant this type of onslaught. I mean he's always does niggerish shit when he feels like thats just what he does and im the one left there with ppl askin me what his problem is..but thats just what he does. i expect it now..but that one incident didnt require two slanderous blogs. did it?"

So i analyzed and took in every word and thats when i realized "he's talkin about my three recent blogs". Two of those blogs were poems written by other ppl. one of which was written by a myspace friend who messaged me to read and pass it along..which i did. The other was written by my best friend who happens to be a excellent poet and that poem has been a personal favorite of mine for months. I figured i'd put it somewhere i can see it instead of scrolling through all her others to get to it. the third one was just an update on how i felt at that point of my life. something that was drafted on Saturday but i didnt post it til Monday. i felt like updating my blog WITHOUT the Tim theme. I didnt think i'd have to explain what i choose to put on MY BLOG. I guess you felt attacked somehow. i don't see it. So let it be known that everything IS NOT about you. Im sorry you felt the need to retaliate to something that truly was not about you. But then again i get the feeling that is how you felt for a while now and you were just waiting for the time to write it.

And Boy what writings they were..Im blown away..baffled. They top "Eh..Whatever" by miles. I'm riddled with fury..sick with it. I havent wanted to cause harm to someone this badly in years. Every fiber of me wants to just straight blast you. So many things want to be said..I could sit here and just write something that would make you look like a pitiful bitch or i could go to work and cause some real damage...but what good would that do?

really?
how will help?

it won't so there is no need for me to say anything
believe everything you need to