What Makes You Feel Good

I have a friend who is on the "doing what makes you feel good" path of life
There's nothing wrong with it from time to time
I've indulged in it myself
But doing what makes you feel good often times leave certain things and responsibilities undone
You begin to rest on your morals
You goals and expectations take a back seat
Now dont get me wrong
one is suppose to enjoy life and live it to the fullest
But in life, one has to struggle first to achieve their true happiness
And that struggle seems to last a lifetime
People then start to take solace in the "doing what makes me feel good method"
theres nothing wrong with that
To a point
Doing it to pick yourself up out of a rut once in awhile is one thing
But to do it on a daily basis can be destructive and disruptive to your life
Unfortunately my friend has began to do it on a daily basis
Like a user
Because this lifestyle in itself is an addiction
One gets addicted to the euphoria of it
And in turn all of their responsibilities fall by the waste side
One might play video games all day instead of bettering themselves physically and mentally
Or go shopping instead of paying bills
Or smoking knowing that they would have to take a drug test to get any job
Or drinking just for the feel good feeling of it
All of these things and more are the product of the feel good life style
Fun for a moment
But long term use could damage themselves and their loved ones in the process
I dont want that for my friend
And though he hasn't been doing it for that long
I can see the change already
This isnt the first time i spoke my opinion about this
But from what is see it hasnt changed all that much
So this will be the last time i speak on it
Im not anyone's mother, just a concerned friend
But i wont stand by and watch my friend turn into something he wouldn't even approve of.
And thats goes for anyone i care about.

gtfoh

so lil mama decided to diddy bop her ass up on stage during the "empire state of mind" performance
she looks like a drunk E.T.
at one point of this clip it really looks like jay laughed in her face
and give her a "shoo fly dont bother me" wave

Keepin it 100

I feel like i dont really have the freedom to say what i want on my blog
i feel like im being monitored
i dont like that feeling
it unsettles me

recently i wrote a few blogs about the way i was feeling about my ex
and someone got it twisted
o well thats not my fault
he shouldn't be reading my blog in the first place
but apparently its the only way he can get up to date info about my life
because others dont feel the need to share
whatever
no offense but i find it pathetic.. but thats just my opinion
it would have been much easier to ask me how i've been
rather than taking the virtual supa dupa snoopa route

but if u want to continue to do that than be my guest
because im gonna say what i want now
i feel my blog should be used more and share my personal feelings
and if ppl dont like it
they know where the back button is

im not going to compromise about this
Welcome to the So the Drama Chronicles
its about to get a little more real

that is all

Sigh..o well

so on my quest to get this certain someone out of my mind
i've made list of reasons why we cant be together
to remind myself that even though i would love to be with him
it just cant work
so....
1. we are too abrasive with each other
2. we are both too stubborn
3. our paths in life are going in totally different directions
4. i dont like his career choice
5. he's engaged...tho i could destroy....no nvm
6. i cant stand his family ..with the exception of his mom
7. we are both too hotheaded
8. he's too chauvinistic

the list could go on..
but this is enough to convince me
and hopefully my mind can wander on someone else tomorrow

this shall end my "ex" rant trilogy
time to REALLY move on

that is all

out of hand random thoughts

so im still stuck on this dude and i dont know why
i guess i dont dislike him as much as i thought
it doesnt help that his best friend and i are friends
and the fact that....nevermind
this is ri damn diculous
maybe i need change of scenery
cuz everwhere i go we've been
memories are still there
im lookin at one of our old pics now

but hey....#deathto nostalgia right?

Ipod blog Vi - the relapse

i didn't get alot of sleep
Up pondering my existence type stuff
Then somehow my Mind started wandering about my "love life"
Especially the past yr
The successes and shortcomings
It's makin me feel some type of way
Something I wasn't expecting because I thought I had moved on
I still miss him
I still love him
Yeah I can be hella angry at someone but that's only masking the fact that I still love him.
I guess after walters departure it got me thinking about what should have been..what in some ways still can be
But things are too damaged and we don't even speak to each other..that's not how I imagined we'd be at this point. Even if we weren't together I thought we'd still be friends..I miss the friendship. I don't know what the point is of writing this blog but it's what was on my mind..I'd love to pretend these feelings weren't still there but they are.
Looking over the past yr has made me skeptical to try anything again but I always wondered if we could go back
To the good ole days.
To what our future should have been
My former blogs about him don't depict him it a good light but that's all water under the bridge..
Time goes on
And so will I

That is all

Sneaker Hunt Vol. 1

every fall i replace a pair of my black sneakers
ive done it for 4 yrs now and this yr is no different
usually they are nike but this yr something else caught my eye
hmmm which one should i choose...

Something Personal

I'm an agry person and it mostly stems from my resentment.
Resentment.
It is the base of most of my negative flaws. Where did this resentment come from?
My life or lack there of. I live two of them, the one people see and the reality. I seem like this busy person with friends and a full social agenda but that's not the case. I don't have a social life, perhaps I should say my parents never allowed me to have one.
All my life I've craved one thing that I still haven't got and that's freedom. The freedom to go and live my life and make my own mistakes and be with people I want to be with. I've always been so confined in my house..couped up, always kept on a short leash. My parents control the life I don't want..and I'm always looking for a way out. They say it's to protect me, that my life would have been much worse without their rules and regulations.
I don't go out and no one comes in. That's how it is.
Every once in a while I can go out on a mandated outings but those aren't often. Now of course me being the creative person that I am, I've found a way to get out anyway and create my secret life. I've had it since I was 15.
It's allowed me to have friends and boyfriends. And it works 90% of the time. But I still have a huge restriction that average people of my age..hell even younger...do not have. And that angers me. I resent it and I resent my parents.
Like, angry beyond compare.
I can't stand this life. I hate it and it depresses me. So that's when possessiveness comes in to play. When I spend time with the people I love outside of the control of my parents, Im happy but I don't like to share them because my time is precious. But when I'm not with them I'm angry again. That's where the jealousy comes in. I can't stand when my friends are out with each other and I'm stuck in the house especially without my knowledge. It just gets to me. It make me resent them and that's not fair to them.
And for that I'm sorry.
This is my issue and my personal flaw. They can't help the life I live so I shouldn't expect them to. This is difficult topic for me. This blog was wrote for a better understanding. And to show that life ain't always roses but you learn to make the best of it. There's still things I can do to improve my life. And I hope this problem and these emotions will be part of the change.