Tuesday morning

I have to take a test today
No not a final
Just a regular test
But I have this headache
This skull splitting headache
And medicine won't help and the test is @10
FUCK!!!!
But I have nothing to do after the test
Maybe I will roam downtown
And find my future husband there LOL
Ahhh if only
Another useless blog

That is all

S'more Kicks

i know what ur thinkin
"u dont need anymore fuckin shoes"
but u can never have enough of them
EVER
but these shoes are special
why?
because these are the first pair i own of their kind
and i've wanted them for quite some time now
and now
they belong to me
with more on the way...yay

Fools Rush In

so the relationship aspect of my life has been in a whirlwind
for the past yr
today is actually the anniversary of me giving up on the "Mountain Saga"
of my life...and it made me wonder
how different my life would be if i were still with him
and i realize
i'd be resentful..esp since he's off playing secret agent man somewhere
thats not the life for me
of course i still love him
but not as much as last yr lol
But I never took time to heal from that loss
Its important that you receive closure from that situation
and i never got it..at least not until months later
i was still getting mixed signals from him and he still had my heart
in this time, a new dude popped up
tho i could see the potential he had..i just wasnt ready to let go of my love for my ex
but he still wanted to try to change my mind..so i let him
as time went on i realized that new dude was the one to get me past the former
and he did..and i loved him for that
i loved him because he cared
so i figured id take things slow
so i dont botch up anything
but the word patience wasnt in dudes vocabulary anymore
and things went south
really quick
i still wonder how the hell that happened but oh well
cant cry over spilled milk
i still wanted his friendship
but that was another word that was no longer in his vocabulary
so that situation took up months
of hard work...HARD WORK
so again, i needed time to myself
but then wally popped up
he was already my friend
but he was really helpful in the situation
telling me to hang in there and shit would get better
even though we all know it got a hellovalot worse
but he still remained a constant friend
and then one day it was more
call it convenient (YEAH IT WAS)
but he's no longer convenient
he's a necessity
but he leaves in july
and if i go forward with him then heartbreak is inevitable
even though he thinks it wont be as bad as i make it to be
he's too fucking reassuring
and i believe him
so fuck it..i can handle heartbreak
its second nature for me
i've mastered the art of picking up the pieces and moving on
no diggidy no doubt baby

My Foolish Heart

i've tried for the past month to
smother out these growing feelings for my wally
but the simple fact that i see him as "my wally"
tells me just how far gone i've let myself get
i mean he leaves in july
why start something that will end abruptly
but why miss out on the happiest months I could have
a wise man told me "distance myself or get into a relationship and get my heart broken"
admitting that there will be heartbreak means there will be love
there already is

i've tried..
i really have
but he's spun his web
and im trapped in it
so i guess i'll make the best out of the months to come
and hope that the memories will be enough to sooth my aching heart when he's gone
but its hard to deal with the fact that something that is hand crafted perfectly for you
something so natural and effortless
is so short lived
but the motto of my life is
"i'll take what i can get"..and that shit works for me..and i know i can get him
point is
I love him
and my foolish heart wont let me
turn my back on that fact

Thank Most Of You

Since Saturday,
I've had the strangest damn cold
hell i thought it was swine flu
but it wasnt (YAY)
i usually dont get sick
because im nice like that lol
but this "bug"
felt more like i OD'd of some backwater crack
like i did some "V" straight true blood style
i was all delusional and seeing floating turtles
and pink ass rabbits
i even had a conversation with my cat
it was a really high fever that would break then shoot up again
i was convinced i was dying
i even sent a message to ppl telling them i was dying (JINKIES)
but im fine now..the antibiotics took hold and i feel almost normal
with the exception of my sinuses
so i'd like to thank everyone who checked up on me
via text or was actually on the phone listening to the rantings of a deranged sick person lol
thank you to all of you who answered my whacked out text and made sure i was still breathing
Even though i was blowing it out of proportion, i really thought i was dying at the time
so thx for answering the fluke bat signal anyway
I appreciate a your care and support

And for those of you who didn't call or text back
even though it did turn out to be me just imagining i was dying
a lil decency can go a long way
but i guess thats not the case with yall
so you all are officially uninvited to my funneral

that is all